How to push past your self-doubt (finally!)

Self-doubt.

We all know it.

Sometimes it shows up when we are about to post a photo to our Instagram.
I have nothing good to say about this picture.

Sometimes it shows up when we are about to write a newsletter or blog post.
I can’t think of anything to write.

And sometimes it shows up when something good happens to us (we get a new inquiry or lead, somebody says yes, or wants to work with us).
They probably aren’t going to stick around long or want to work with me.

Sound familiar? (Ohhh yes.)

These are the sneaky little statements that oftentimes interject themselves right into our thought stream. If they go undetected they have the potential to derail us from moving forward and going on towards the thing that we are really wanting.

Like the Instagram tribe. Or showing up frequently and regularly for our people via our blog or newsletter. And clients! Yes the clients!

But I want to tell you a little something, something my friend.

You are a savvy business owner. Yes, you. Whether you are just getting started or are a few years in, that savvy business owner is already present within you. Can we agree right here and now to make this the year where you decide to stop letting self-doubt get in your way?

Really. I want you to make a pact with yourself right now in this moment that you are not going to let your inner fear girl run the show.

Your fear girl is that voice inside that is scared. She is afraid of you failing. She is afraid of you embarrassing yourself. She is afraid of getting hurt.

And instead of getting angry that she has been running the show in the first place… let’s love on her. Let’s talk back to her kindly and with compassion and tell her this:

"Thank you very much for trying to protect me. I know that you are just looking out for me. But I got it from here. I trust that whatever is on the other side of fear is worth finding out. I got it from here."

This voice right here is love. SELF-LOVE. It is that part of you deep down that believes in you more than anyone. It is that part that totally has your back and, like your fear girl, is working to protect you. The major difference is that she believes and trusts that YOU GOT THIS. That you are somebody who figures things out.

And you are somebody who figures things out my friend.

I’m sending you waves of love as you make 2018 your best year yet- as you make this the year where you start noticing your self-doubt arise, and tell her that it is okay.

You got it from here.

 

 

An invitation to reflect + make 2018 your best year yet!

Every year, around this time, I love to reflect on the previous year: the highs, the lows, the wins, the lessons..all of it, to make space for what lays ahead and think about what I want to welcome in and attract in the upcoming year.

I invite you to join me in that process and make 2018 one of your best years yet! To help you get to it, I made two things just for you:

1. A Yearly Reflection Guide for you to print and write out your answers to some super powerful coaching questions that will help you reflect on 2017 like never before and really look ahead to 2018 as you explore what you really, really want!

2. The latest episode of First + Foremost | The Podcast brings you a behind the scenes look at how I myself am doing it. I share with you:

  • My biggest failure in 2017
  • What I'm letting go of (the thing that I have personally struggled with this past year)
  • My #1 focus for 2018 
  • And more!

Be sure take some time out for you to reflect and really get intentional about what you want to bring forth into your life.  

Let's start reflecting, love!

My Top 10 Takeaways from 2017!

There is something about this particular year and season that has me feeling more reflective than ever before (you too!?). I am finding myself feeling waves of gratitude for the life I have with my husband Adam and our puppy Migo. Maybe it is all stemming from recently completing my Yearly Reflection (a peek inside is coming your way next week- complete yours here if you are feeling like doing some reflecting of your own in the meantime!) 

In this season of reflection, I want to share with you my top 10 takeaways from 2017.

1. Trust the timing of your life.
This one I have learned on a personal level, and also vicariously through the people around me. Think of any one thing you are wanting that feels out of your control. Then say to yourself, “I choose to trust the timing of my life.” Now doesn’t that feel like a warm hug? 

2. Don’t skimp on your self-care!
Skimping on my self-care leads to a tired, drained, and depleted me. It effects my mood, self-esteem, and my entire being. I have learned that it is a nonnegotiable. I must do it.
Every.
Single.
Day. (Get acquainted with your own self-care things here!)

3. Talk to the people you love about the things on your heart.
Talks with your person. Opening up in ways you don't always plan to. Sharing and baring your wishes, wants, hopes, desires. It's such an important part of feeling loved and feeling heard and understood.

4. Be your own advocate.
I received some advice from a medical professional early this year that just did not feel right. So I got a second opinion. I used my voice. I advocated for me. I took care of myself. Be your own advocate and take care of you, too.

5. Get a pet!
Having Migo our Portuguese Water Dog has completely changed my life. I now understand the love one can have for a furry friend. He has taught me lots about self-care and love, too!

Migo The Dog Friend

6. Remember that everyone is going through something.
We only see what others choose to show us. Remember that every single person is going through something. The people who are jerks are going through something. The people who appear to have everything perfect are going through something.

7. Don’t get sucked into other people’s stories.
When someone is freaking out, when someone is highly reactive, when someone is highly emotional, don’t get sucked into their drama. Instead, remember that this is their story. It is how they are choosing to react. It does not have to be your story too.

8. Respect your own time.
This past year I blocked out 3 weeks of rest for myself over the upcoming holidays. And then, as December has been nearing, I noticed that I had filled up almost every single day with activities, meetings, and events. Before the holidays got a chance to tire me out, I felt drained just looking at my calendar. Then the lovely Mara Glatzel popped into my email right when I needed her most. She reminded me that I need to honor my time. I need to honor my own periods of much-needed rest. And so I went back and cleared my schedule. I moved things around. I reclaimed my space. And now I deeply look forward to rest this holiday season. Moral of the story.. respect your time. Honor what you need and say you will do. Give yourself periods of rest.

9. Listen to your body.
A few months back, I fell down our stairs. I was holding Migo in my arms (thankfully we both were okay!) but I ended up with a back injury. Fortunately, it is almost 100 percent healed, but wow has the experience taught me a lot about tending to my body. I have had to pause on working out and strenuous movement in general. I have used this time to really listen to what my body is needing and to be kind to it in the process. It has proven to be a gift, really. 

10. Be the fire!!!
My mantra from 2017! This summer, after going on a camping trip, I realized while talking with a fellow coach friend, that I was the cozy blanket at a campfire and that it was time to be the FIRE. Since adopting this mantra, it has moved me to action like never before (really!). So many things I have wanted to get off the ground are in full swing now (like my podcast + program!) and it feels amazing friends. I share this final piece with you because I have realized having a compelling mantra is everything. What words really resonate to be true for you? Make that your mantra!

There you have it! When you have a chance, take a moment to reflect on your own top 10 takeaways from this past year. What key lessons have you gained from this past year that you will carry with you into 2018?

 

Do you have a self-care plan? (Here's mine!)

Do you have a self-care plan?

It is basically a list of all of your things that bring you comfort and joy, relaxation, and rest. They are your go-to's to love on and take care of you. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and with the launch of First + Foremost | The Program coming up (we start November 27th!!) I thought now is the perfect time to reflect on self-care.

Here are some of my personal self-care things (currently):

Cuddling my puppy, Migo
Talking with my husband, Adam
Drinking a hot cup of coffee
Drinking kombucha in a wine glass
Going for a walk
Writing in my journal
Talking to my life coach, Beth
Talking to my therapist, Angela
Naming my 3 daily intention words
Reading a book (I'm re-reading You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero)
Watching one of my favorite shows (Currently: Shameless, Outlander, Project Runway)
Taking a hot shower or Epsom salt bath with lavender oil
Taking a nap
Drinking water
Sitting down to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner mindfully
Writing what I am grateful for

These are my current things. Every so often, I sit down and rewrite my things. I find sometimes that they ebb and flow based on the seasons, and they ebb and flow based on me, and how I change with each passing day.

I encourage you to take a moment to sit down and reflect on your own personal self-care things. As women and men, we need to know our go-to's for caring for ourselves. You may have an idea in your mind already of what they are, but there is something meaningful about sitting down to actually write them out. You can post it up, or keep it with you in your purse, wallet, or journal.

To help you get started, here is a template I created for you!

And did you hear??? First + Foremost | The Program starts November 27th!!! In it, I share every tool I have for self-care to help you grow your passion work from the inside-out by taking care of you, first. Passion work is our hobby-turned-livelihood, and it requires us to show up fully for ourselves in order to create our best work. First + Foremost is a 9-month journey to help you do just that! Join in the fun!!!

First + Foremost [the podcast] is finally here!

Today, I'm over here happy dancing because First + Foremost, the podcast is finally here!

My whole intention behind creating this podcast is to help you take care of yourself, first and foremost. Over the years, I have used the words "first and foremost" to describe self-care. When thinking of a name for the podcast, my cousin Rachel pointed this out to me, and we both knew in an instant that this is what the podcast should be called (as well as the upcoming program that launches this November... stay tuned!)

The first 4 episodes are now live for you my friend, and I couldn't be more excited to share them:

In the very first teaser episode, I tell you all about First + Foremost and what you can expect on each episode. 

In episode 1, I share my top 5 tips for sharing your stories on social media. This episode is especially for those of you who crave more connection, more authenticity, and more vulnerability as you post on social media.

In episode 2, Beth Racine, my life coach and dear friend, comes on to discuss how to overcome pain after the unthinkable happens in a relationship. 

In episode 3, I share some practical tools for those of you finding yourself saying, "I feel so overwhelmed right now!"

And finally, in episode 4, Kirsten Wilson, founder and creator of the Hello Day Planner joins me as we chat about pushing past fear and self-doubt to create the thing you crave.

There is so, so, so much more to come, but for now, I hope you enjoy these mini episodes all made with love and intention to help you take the very best care of you. In the meantime, be sure to stay in the know when new episodes are released. You can subscribe in iTunes, Google Play and Stitcher. Just search for "First + Foremost" or my name, "Jen Wille" and you will find it!

Sending you all the love.

Warmly yours,

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