My Top 10 Activities to Combine with Rest

Dance and laughter. Laughter and dance.

There were 6 of us. The party was technically over. And yet, the most incredible dance party ensued. 

All the woes, all the worries, all the life stuff, gone in those few moments. It is amazing how laughter and dance work together to mend what needs mending within us.

What I'm learning is that my body needs breaks. It needs to rest and recharge. But it also needs moments to let go and unravel by having fun. The combination of down-time and activities that energize create the perfect recipe for feeling renewed and refreshed. 

This week, I challenge you to find your winning combo.  What activities bring out your spirited self and help you let go of what weighs heavily on you? Give yourself a break, even if you would rather not.

Combine rest with something you know will bring out the laughs. And just because, here are some ideas that might help you get started.

1. Check out a comedy show- either in person, or online, like this incredibly hilarious comedian Sebastian Maniscalco.
2. Drop in to free salsa night.
3. Get together with a friend who doesn't take herself too seriously.
4. If you have a toddler in your life, spend some time with him or her today. 
5. Play with a cat or puppy.
6. Watch a movie from the 80s or 90s. Some of my favorites: Drop Dead Fred, Groundhog Day, Curly Sue.
7. Ask an older relative to share stories from her past with you.
8. Go through childhood photos.
9. Watch videos of babies laughing. This one is my all-time favorite.
10. Turn on some your favorite old-school jams while making dinner tonight. Bonus points for turning up the volume, and extra bonus points if you sing loudly and unapologetically. [Cue that sexy 90's R&B.]

My Favorite Journaling Exercise to Push Past Fear

A few weeks back, I started a collection of thoughts called the SheSeries. My intention behind it is to inspire and lift, push and encourage, and nudge you to go after the life you envision.
 
Fear can hold us back if we let it. Doubts of how to make what we want work, whether we are good enough, or the idea that we might fall can and will zap the light out of any dream.
 
The SheSeries is my reminder to you, and to myself, to get out there and not let fear get in the way. We have one chance at all this. That very thought lights the fire in me to jump, to fly, and to go after what I want. It is my hope that my words might do the same for you.
 
So my challenge to you today is stop what you are doing after reading this post.

Grab a coffee if you do not already have one. (Fuel!)
 
Take 5 minutes and write your answers to the following questions. Go on and grab a pretty pen and notebook.

Let your thoughts free-flow and just write. Then, go back to what you were doing prior and let it sink in as you do your day.
 
Some added food for thought: If you decided to live your life less out of fear, and more from a place of self-love, worthiness, and faith in yourself that you’ve got this, what would your SheSeries look like?

The Real Reason You Need a Morning Routine

It’s easy to go through the motions. I get it. I used to go through them quite rapidly myself, zombie-like (literally, from waking up at 5am daily) and moving from task to task, only to end the day completely tired and wiped out.

Shifting from this place of constant movement meant one thing—slowing down.

It was not easy at first. Initially, I would have told you that I had zero moments of time that were purely mine at work. I was a 5th grade teacher, and any educator can tell you that time solo is not really part of our vocabulary! However, when I sat back and really thought about how I was spending my time, I realized that I could free up some moments just for myself. 

I started small. I looked for the little pockets of time that were purely mine and I decided to use them intentionally. My plan? When I got to work, I made sure I closed my door, and set aside 5-10 minutes of quiet time by myself, uninterrupted, so that I could take a few mindful moments to appreciate my life, set some intentions for the day, and get in the right headspace not only for me, but for my students and colleagues too. For a while, I felt anti-social during those 5 minutes with my door closed. But you know what? After getting in the habit of practicing my new morning routine, I started to notice how much more at peace I felt despite the constant moving parts of my day. 

This is where the real power of a morning routine lays. It creates a space of calm. It brings our internal state to neutral, and allows our energy to shift to positive. 

There is a reason for creating the routine in the morning, too. We want to make sure we are starting our day with a habit that sets us up for success. When we do that thing, it reminds us of how we want to take care of our minds and bodies. We set ourselves up to make choices that align with self-care since we started our day lovingly and peacefully. 

Think about what happens when you stop tending to something. If you stop cleaning your house, dust will collect over time. If you stop adding wood to a campfire, it will eventually stop burning. The same is true when we are creating new habits and routines for ourselves—in order to keep them going, we have to be in a constant state of tending, otherwise they will fall apart. Choosing a regular time in the morning that you can commit to each day to get in the right headspace will help you remain in a constant state of tending. This is how all routines are built, and specifically, why morning routines are so critical.

You want to be a self-tending machine. You have to constantly work at it, and working at it means prioritizing it, no matter the hot mess, lack of time, or constant shuffle that is your life.

How to Start a Mindfulness Practice Now

Last weekend I was with my husband traveling to Portland. As the airplane was about to take off, I felt a moment of panic. I took a deep breath and grabbed my husband’s hand. I noticed the way it felt in mine, I noticed my feet on the floor and I noticed the sensation of the airplane’s wheels beneath us as they rolled and sped up. I looked out the window and noticed the buildings, the road, and the sky. I had a moment of pure noticing exactly what is, and realized that I was safe.

Mindfulness. 

I remember when I was first learning the tools and techniques for a more peaceful me, it felt foreign trying to explain to others what exactly it was—this thing called Mindfulness. Now, google the word and see how many articles and blogs pop up on it! 

This past week a client asked about it. “What’s that thing everyone is talking about? It’s like meditating. Do you think that will help me?” Oh, how mindfulness can and will help you, love.

Mindfulness is a form of meditation, and it’s my preferred way to get into the right headspace. Whether I’m feeling happy, sad, fearful, anxious, or simply going about my day doing ordinary, mundane things, it is the daily practice of presence that grounds me in my life. I know people who happily plop themselves pillows and meditate the good old way most of us probably envision, but the good news is that mindfulness can become a daily practice that is engrained in you as you go about your day, no pillow needed.

It all starts with noticing, with neutral awareness, what you are doing and when you are doing it as you hone in on your senses.

When you are walking outside on a crisp, fall day, you can notice the colorful leaves as they sway and veer slowly to the ground.

The next time you are putting lotion on your hands, notice how it gradually goes from cool to warm as you gently massage it into your skin.

When you are talking to a friend, be truly present in the conversation, noticing and hearing all that she is telling you.

As you are enjoying your morning coffee, pay attention to the warmth of the mug as you hold it in your hands and the way the coffee tastes as you drink it, sip by sip.

These moments are all just tiny examples of mindfulness meditation—a daily practice of intentional presence in your life.

The bonus for living a mindful life? Inner calm and peace, girlfriend. When you get in the habit of noticing, you are really flexing your mind muscle and staying in a place of constant gratitude for exactly what is in your life.

It's Time to Make a Scene

Have you seen the video of Gigi Hadid recently getting all badassery on some guy in Milan? If not, take a quick moment and watch it. Camera-ready, sweet-as-pie, nice-girl Gigi got tough. She got fired up and not only used her voice to tell this guy off, she got physical. She claimed her space, her body, and was not having any of it. 
 
Watching this video reminded me of a very personal, very real moment I had this summer where I had my own Gigi moment.
 
It happened so fast that it all felt like a blur. I had been out with my friends, one of whom was visiting from New York and I hadn’t seen in a while, when a guy, out of nowhere, grazed his hands over the side of my dress and pulled me right onto his lap. In the same moment, one of the friends we were with whispered in my ear not to worry, because the guy was ‘harmless’ and was a good friend. 
 
As I scooted off the guy’s lap and shifted my attention towards my friends, my thought process went something like this:
 
Who the heck does this guy think he is? Just wave your wedding ring in his face so he gets the hint. Ugh, but you haven’t seen everyone in so long--don’t make this awkward and create a scene. Just give this guy the benefit of the doubt. 
 
So, I stuck it out. I trusted what my friend said. I stayed in my people-pleasing state.
 
What ensued was another 20 minutes or so of very uncomfortable, aggressive advances by this guy.

And then it happened.

He completely crossed the line. He reached his hands out in an effort to grope my chest while announcing I had “nice tits." A real, frickin' gentleman, right ladies?
 
[Cue my New York friend.]
 
Her finger immediately shot off into his face as she fired off some very select, choice words. She told him boldly that she doesn’t care that he is friends with our friend, he has no right to treat women this way, and that she was not going to watch him talk to me or treat me disrespectfully any longer. We were leaving, even if it meant without our other friend. 
 
A wave of feelings flashed over me. Anger. Frustration. Disappointment. And worst of all, shame.
 
I am a self-respecting, happily married woman. I take care of my mind, my body, and my heart. I do not let people manipulate, or walk over me. And in this moment, I felt that I had let myself down. 
 
I felt like I let my husband down. I cried to him the next morning as I told him about what happened. His love and kindness towards me reminded me that I was not responsible for this man’s actions. No, it wasn’t my sexy summer dress that warranted his behavior. No, it wasn’t being out at a bar in downtown Chicago that warranted his behavior. No, it wasn’t anything I did that warranted his behavior. His behavior was his own, and it was not right.
 
I was so concerned about being a good girl, a nice girl, and keeping the peace, that I sat through those uncomfortable 20 minutes before my friend stepped in and did something about it.
 
I was mad that it took my friend to say something before I did. I was mad at our other friend for sitting back and watching this guy disrespect me like that, for telling me he was ‘harmless.’ I was mad that I did not get fired up. I was mad that I didn’t tell him to take his drunken, gropy self home and leave me and my friends alone.

I was mad that I stayed quiet. I was mad that I didn’t make a scene.
 
But you know what? This was my Gigi moment and it taught me a life lesson that I needed to learn.
 
I learned that it is okay to ruffle feathers sometimes. 
I learned to use my voice. To speak up. To say something. To do something. 
I learned that sometimes you need to confront the people you care about, even if they are your friends.
I learned that I am responsible for me. Period.
I learned that my body is worth protecting.

I learned that I am worth fighting for, and so are you.