Recently I posted one of my all time favorite quotes to Instagram, “You are enough.” With it being flooded all over social media, I knew I needed to explain more, as these 3 simple words have completely changed my life.

Several years ago, I was going through one of the hardest times of my life. I was in my mid-twenties and trying to figure it all out. In many ways, the girl who had come out of foster care, been in the most incredible long-term relationship, and landed her dream job as an elementary classroom teacher, had finally “made it.” I had achieved so much of what I had wanted for myself as a young girl. Yet, there was a part of me that was really scared. For so much of my life, I had a plan. I knew where I was going. I knew exactly what I wanted.

Now, here I was, an adult, with many of the things I had always wanted right in front of me, and somehow felt incomplete and less than.

As the feelings grew and intensified, thoughts of “you’re not enough” or anything else laced with pure judgment would sweep my mind whenever I didn’t do or say something the way my growing perfectionist had expected of me.

Fortunately, there was also that loving and compassionate part of me who recognized that I did not deserve to treat myself, of all people, in such a way. Over time, with lots of support and help, I started to rewire my brain for positivity.

Part of that process involved mindfulness, where I learned how to be more in the moment and really listen to my thoughts. Whenever I would catch myself berating my actions or saying the most critical things, I developed a phrase to gently combat those thoughts.

You are enough.

The simple 3-word message is still on repeat, even today, whenever my perfectionist tries to hold me to the highest standard. I gently tell her that it’s okay, that I’ve got this, and that I do not need her to take such tough care of me anymore.

This, is an affirmation. This is my affirmation. Every day.

Creating your own affirmation starts with listening to your thought reel. What’s going on in that mind of yours? Pay attention to your thoughts—the sneaky little critical voice that is really trying to keep you at your best so that you show up in the world as your most dazzling self. The thing is, by responding gently back to that critical voice, you will be showing her that you too, just like me, have got this, and that you do not need her to take such strong care of you.

As you listen, you will hear the message loud and clear that is on repeat. You can then turn that nagging thought into something more positive and loving. It will feel like a total LIE in the beginning as you try replacing the negative thought with the more kind one.

But over time, as you get in the habit of checking your perfectionista, the less you will find she talks to you.

First + Foremost Blog