It's Time for a Little Q & A...

This week I am switching things up a bit and answering some behind-the-writing questions. My dear friend Dedra Davis nominated me for the Blue Sky Tag, a challenge that encourages bloggers to give an inside look into their writing. From my motivation to start these weekly notes, to favorite quotes and blogs to read, I open up about why I write to you. Let's get to it and answer some of Dedra's questions:

1. How long have you been blogging?

I have been blogging for 1.5 years. I made a commitment in January 2016 that I would write every week, and I have stuck to it!

2. Where do you blog/write most often?

I love to write in coffee shops, ironically enough. There’s something about the noise and the energy of other people that really motivates me.

3. What have you learned about yourself since you began blogging?

I have learned that for me, it’s not about how many people are reading my blog. What matters to me is if my thoughts and words can help at least one person that day, then it makes it all worth it, which is why whenever I get a note or email back from one of the ladies in my tribe, it seriously makes my entire day. It’s the push that reminds me it’s all worth it.

4. Where would you like to live if you had nothing stopping you?

Honestly, anywhere with my husband Adam. I spent a few years daydreaming about living in Portland, Huntington Beach, or Denver, and what I have realized is that I am somebody who would much rather live by my people than live in my dream location. My dream location is really wherever my people are.

5. Where is your dream spot to write?

My dream spot to write is out in nature, overlooking a lake with lots of trees around me. (I should note that I have NOT done this before…but now I think I will!)

6. Tell your reader why you want them to read your words?

Oh gosh, this one was challenging for me initially when deciding to start my blog. I had lots of self-doubt to work through in the beginning, thinking I had nothing really meaningful to say, or thinking thoughts like, “why would anybody care to read my words?” The reality is that I know I am somebody who has risen above some challenges in my life that have ultimately led me to where I am today. It is my hope to inspire and share that we are absolutely worthy of the life we want for ourselves and that is possible to create it. I write my words to remind women that we only get one shot at this thing called life, so let’s take the best possible care of ourselves and create a life and business we love.

7. Where is your favorite city, in your own state, that is not where you live now?

I love Galena, IL! It’s such a quaint little town with lots of shops and charming streets. I love visiting it in the fall when the leaves are starting to turn vibrant and bright!

8. Tell me a quote you wish you had written?

My favorite quote is more of a blurb I have taken away from Ann Lamont:

“Sink into a place of knowing you are worth profound care.”

Her original words are this:

“You can change the world with a hot bath, if you sink into it from a place of knowing that you are worth profound care, even when you're dirty and rattled.”

9. What goal have you met in 2017?

It was a goal of mine to have a full coaching practice this year, and I am so grateful and humbled to say that I met this goal back in May of this year. With each woman who decides to team up and coach with me over a period of 6 months to a year, it feels like such a gift. I love nothing more than walking alongside women who are ready to prioritize themselves and go after their big plans! Seeing them manifest what they are wanting is so fulfilling (and energizing!)

10. What is your favorite blog to read?

    I can’t choose between the two, so here they are:

   Tiffany Han: for her straight-talk business inspiration and motivation

   Mara Glatzel: for her beautiful self-care posts that she reads aloud to you like prose.

11. What is your favorite social media?

My favorite social media is Instagram! I love hanging out on there. If we aren’t already connected, let’s get to it! 

Dedra Davis is a late-in-life journalist who writes from the heart about life, love, and laughter, and an occasional blog about Waco, Texas (her hometown), décor, and weenie dogs, all the while, trying to inspire you, delight you, make you think and hopefully smile. (Smiling is her favorite!) You can check her out at Dedra Davis Writes.

And now it is my turn to pass the torch on the Blue Sky Tag. I nominate the following bloggers/writers to answer my questions below:

Ali Owens

Katy Flatau

Amanda Katherine Loy

Brittany Bekas

Courtney Rioux

Diana Coulter

Jessica Edwards

Dannielle Alphonse

Anna Maria Locke

Laura at Ivory & Pine

Mariah Wickham

1. Why did you start your blog?

2. What motivates you to write, and to keep writing?

3. How do you start your mornings and take care of you?

4. What message do you *really* hope to convey through your writing?

5. Who would you love to collaborate with some day?

6. What is one thing your reader may not know about you? Share something serious and something fun!

7. What is a quote that you wish you had written?

8. What book do you think every woman must read?

9. What are your personal favorite blogs and podcasts?

10. What do you do to push past fear?

11. What is your greatest achievement to date that you are most proud of?

Alrighty ladies..the rules are simple: 

1. Start by thanking the person who nominated you (me!) and adding my website link to your blog post.

2. Answer the 11 questions I gave you in a new blog post on your site.

3. Nominate 11 other bloggers/writers who you think are amazing. Place their link on your blog post.

4. Give them 11 questions of your choice.

Happy writing! 

My 6 Favorite Self-Help Things

It's summer and that means it's time to get outside and lazy-around at the beach! (At least, one can hope, right!?) 

With more time to relax and chill, I thought I would share some of my all-time favorite self-help things. From books to TED Talks, here are my current go-to's (in no particular order) for when I want a pick-me-up and want to get inspired!

1. Women Food and God by Geneen Roth

This book literally changed my relationship with my body and mind forever. Genene talks about listening and trusting yourself, following your intuition, and dealing with heavy emotions. It is like the lady bible. I think every woman should read it. It is a blend of self-discovery, spirituality, and self- love. 

2. You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero

I joke that this is the book I should have written. My friend recommended I give this a read last summer and it has since become one of my all-time favorites! If you are looking for some motivation to start doing the work you feel called to do, then read this! It is filled with nuggets of inspiration and love to help you push past fear. Yes, please!

3. The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz

This book helped me reframe my thinking around time. If you find yourself thinking, "I never have time for me" then this is the book for you! The authors of this book use real-life case studies of people to demonstrate how even in the busiest of circumstances, you CAN reclaim your time. It all starts with managing your energy!

4. You Are Here by Thich Nhat Hanh

This book is short and sweet and is a nice introduction into mindfulness and meditation. There are some really great examples of what being in the present moment is really all about. For anyone wanting to create more self-awareness and learn skills for managing emotions, this is a really great read!

Radical Acceptance Jen Wille

5. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

There is something so beautiful about this book. I am not sure if it is because I imagine Tara's soothing voice reading it aloud, or it is just her empowering reminder of just how worthy we are. This is the book to read when you are going through a tough spot in life.

6. The Power of Vulnerability with Brené Brown.

This. TED. Talk. Really, I do not know where to begin because there is just so much goodness soaked up into these 20 minutes and 13 seconds. The moment you let your walls down and allow yourself to be your most authentic self, flaws and all, some serious healing happens. 

The #1 Phrase That Will Stop Your Meltdown

It's time for some real talk.

I had a meltdown the other day.

The grown up woman, fiery tantrum kind of meltdown.

It happened while I was getting ready to go out with my husband.

The thoughts went something like this:

I have nothing to wear.
I hate my clothes.
Shoot, these shorts don't fit. 


And they kept on coming…

It took me over 30 minutes to get ready because of the pity party I was having in my head.

Once I finally settled on something to wear, I realized how silly it was to be in my head like that, but it wasn't until the next day that it really hit me.

I was listening to a podcast with Marie Forleo, where she shared a beautiful quote by Neale Donald.

“Struggle ends when gratitude begins.”

I thought back to my meltdown with my clothes and suddenly thought back to the statements I had said in my mind while getting ready.

"I have no clothes." Oh yes, love, you have lots of clothes.
"I have nothing to wear." You have an entire closet filled with beautiful clothing.

I could keep going on and on. I thought about how fortunate I am to have so many things to choose from when I get ready.

The next day while getting ready, my entire energy had shifted as I thought about the quote. When I felt myself feel disappointed about the clothing options in my closet, I instead thought about how grateful I am to have a home with a closet that is filled with clothes that I have purchased with my hard-earned dollars. I thought about how grateful I am to have a healthy body to dress my clothes in. 

These words can be applied to more meaningful events than clothing. Moments when we are in suffering, hurting, or are in a state of sadness we can come back to what we feel grateful for. We can think about what we love in our current moment.

I now think of these words and try to apply them to other areas of my life where I feel a kind of struggle playing out. I gently remind myself what I am grateful for in those challenging moments. And friends, it is really making a difference in how I am feeling. I sure hope you'll do the same.

P.S. Want a cute print of this quote in your space as a reminder!? I made you a super quick downloadable. Click here to get your copy!

How to Implement Self-Care Now

When you think about your self-care, what immediately comes to mind?

Brushing your teeth?
Washing your face?
Doing your hair, makeup?

As adults we understand the importance of basic self-care. 

Going to the doctor regularly, showering, getting enough sleep-- we know how important these daily habits are to not only our health, but our well-being too.  

Self-care is of course these daily rituals and routines of good hygiene. But it is also much more than that.

It encompasses those little moments throughout the day when you take time out just for you. It's you creating intentional moments where you are honoring your worth and giving yourself profound care. It could be a hot shower in the morning and really noticing the warmth of the water as it hits your body. Maybe it’s a fun salsa class with a friend after a long day of work. It might be a hot cup of tea in the morning or reading your favorite book at night before bed. Maybe it's taking a stroll with your love and stopping to enjoy a cup of frozen-kefir (if you haven't tried it, do it! So good.) Self-care looks like any and all of these mini-moments of you loving on you. 

Think about all the times you’ve decided to skip your self-care. 

Maybe there just wasn’t enough time to squeeze that workout in or meditate for 5 minutes or take a full lunch break. What happens when there’s not enough time? You push through whatever commitments you have. You keep going and doing, going and doing. You create a habit and daily routine of NOT prioritizing you, NOT prioritizing your self-care. You start to feel drained, exhausted, and completely wiped. You become frustrated and feel sad too, that you are not living your life as you truly intend for yourself.

So what's a girl to do? 

1. Recognize how you are spending your time. What can you start saying NO to? This is a big one. Set up some personal boundaries to create space for your self-care. 

2. Start small, then gradually go big! What small step towards prioritizing your self-care can you immediately start doing? What is one thing you would like to do for yourself that doesn't require a lot of planning? 

3. Do it! Yes, love, do that one self-care thing. Today. Write it in your schedule. Do not let anything else get in the way. 

By creating daily rituals and routines around self-care, you are making a bold statement that it’s okay to take time out for you. Your modeling of this in your own life serves as a beautiful reminder to the people around you to do the same. 

What bold statement do you want your self-care to communicate?  

 

5 Tips for Creating an Energizing Daily Routine

For years, I had a daily routine that completely zapped my energy.

For starters, I was waking up at 5am. 
With all my great intentions to start the day off on a positive note, I was really just going through the motions.

Roll out of bed.
Put workout clothes on.
Drive to gym.
Exercise. 
Shower.
Eat breakfast on the go.
Work.
Work.
And more work.
Drive home.
Make dinner.
Work.
Sleep.

Nowhere in that routine was real, authentic time for myself.

Even my attempt to start the day off with some exercise did not feel like loving, nourishing time for myself because hello, 5am! I was tired.

Weeknights I had zero energy to talk with my friends or even stay awake long enough to get through a movie with my husband. By Friday, while most of my friends were kicking off the weekend with happy hour, I was grateful for a night in where I could get to bed early and actually sleep in the following day.

I get it. I know you’re tired love.

I remember the feeling of complete energy depletion, but I also know that it doesn’t have to be this way. There are some very helpful things you can do (some right now, and some over time) that will greatly improve your overall quality of life and energy levels.

Here are my top tips to help you get started:

1.  Know your options. For starters, we have to recognize what we have control over. It can feel like we are stuck in the routine we presently have and that there are no other options. However, if you really take an honest look at your day, you will likely see how you are making choices throughout the day that are ultimately leading to your feelings of energy depletion. Are you saying yes to everything asked of you? Are you choosing to do more work than required? We have to get honest with ourselves and evaluate the options that are presented to us throughout the day and how our choices effect us. Doing so will help you see how you can start saying no and setting some personal boundaries to create more time for you.

2. Radically accept. It’s a term I learned years ago when I read Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach. The idea behind it is that you choose to radically accept what is outside of your control. When it comes to your current daily routine, there may be circumstances that really are outside of your control right now. It could be caring for others, or possibly the realization that your career may not provide you with the freedom you really crave for your life. Whatever your things are, imagine yourself embracing them just as they are, without trying to change or fix them. And while you are at, give yourself some compassion for doing so.

3. Say your mantras honey. I sometimes forget how incredibly helpful mantras are. Mantras help us get in the right headspace. When we are tired and feeling drained, our self-talk becomes more critical than ever in giving us a boost. Some of my favorites are: I create all the love and positivity I need. I take care of my mind, body, and heart. My body deserves rest.

4. Restart how you start. How are you starting your day? Is it anything like my former daily routine? If so, join me in restarting how you start your day. If we start our day in a rush, that energy is likely going to carry on with us throughout the day. Create a short, simple routine that helps you pause and slow things down a bit so that you can check in with yourself and create some intentions for how you want to be throughout your day. Identify 1-3 things you wish you were doing first thing in the morning and then figure out a way to work them in. It can be as simple as stating a few things you are grateful for, or writing out a few intention words to help ground you for the day.

5. Infuse love. This one is my absolute favorite. Many times we are left feeling low about our daily routine because we realize we simply aren’t doing anything for ourselves. This is where I want you to make yourself a priority. What do you love to do? What do you want to do? Spend a few moments after reading this to really give yourself permission to write out the things you wish you could do during the day. Maybe it would just light you up to be able to go home after work and completely unwind. What do you need to say no to in order to make this happen? Or maybe you want to have the energy to read a book at night? Again, what do you have to stop doing to make the space for this? The idea is to give yourself permission to get all your wants down on paper, and then get really honest with yourself about how you can make it happen.

In the words of one of my favorite online mentors Marie Forleo, “everything is figureoutable!” Trust yourself. You’ve got this. One of the things I always try to remember is that life is so short. We only get one shot at all this, so why go through the motions of life tired, drained, or unhappy? We deserve to live our best days. You deserve to live your best days. If something doesn’t feel right, remember you are a woman who figures things out. You can change it.