3 Tips to Push Past Fear

Fear.

It is the thing that oftentimes stops us in our tracks and keeps us from being where we want to be. It is the thing that feels suffocating at times, telling us we are not good enough. It is the thing that keeps us right where we are at, with the threat of never finding our true potential.

That is, if we keep on listening to it… 

What if today is the day you decide to stop letting fear lead you? What if you decide today to start paying attention to when fear shows up and instead push past it and go after what you want most?

Are you ready? Okay, let's get to it. 

1.  Create a mantra/ affirmation/ badassery reminder that you are amazing.
The next time you hear fear talking to you, come equipped to talk back (kindly of course!) with an empowering, fear-conquering, confidence-boosting statement to stop fear in its tracks. Try something like, "I take chances because I am worthy of knowing the reward."

2.  Ask yourself this critical question: what will your life be like if you keep listening to fear?
This question right here is the one that always reminds me that I will stay exactly where I am if I keep listening to my fear. I want to go places, thank you very much! How about you? Where do YOU want to go in YOUR life? What will happen if you keep listening to fear?

3.  Remind yourself that everyone, every single person, starts somewhere. Including you.
If you find that a lot of your fear is rooted in self-doubt, likely from comparing yourself to others, or not feeling good enough, remind yourself that every single person started somewhere where they once were at the very beginning. It takes a series of baby steps to push past fear and put ourselves out there to get where we really want to be. We all start somewhere. The key word, is start.

Pssst.. Was this note helpful today? If you want more, and are into all things self-love and self-care, let's get you on my email list, love! Think: weekly nudges and inspo, that are short and sweet and sent with love, delivered straight to your inbox. You can get in, right here!

5 Steps to Get Out of a Funk

We have all been there. You know, where things are going well and smooth, and then you notice either gradually over time or it suddenly hits you hard that you have been in a funk. You are not in your normal flow. You are not tending to your usual self-care things. You are not feeling like your best you.

I know this feeling all too well. I will have strides of productivity, strides of momentum with my health and fitness (drinking water like a champ, getting my morning workouts in), and an overall peace and positivity within. And then gradually, I will start to notice I skip one workout, then two. I procrastinate on important projects. I wake up feeling a fog hanging over me. 

These are cues that help alert me that I am in a funk, and it is time to make some shifts to help bring me back to feeling my best. The next time you find yourself in a similar place, I want to share with you my top 5 tips for getting back in alignment and out of a funk:

1. Make a Stop-Doing List. Think about how you are spending your time in your day. What specific tasks and activities are you doing that you think are contributing to how you feel? Are you spending too much mindless time on social media? Are you watching lots of TV and laying around on the couch? What are the things? Write them down if they aren't serving you and make a commitment to stop doing them now, or at least set some parameters around how much you are doing them. If you want some help with this, grab my FREE Daily Routine Workbook that is my go-to for helping you create your own peaceful daily rhythm. You can check it out here!

2. Create a Morning Routine. As human beings, we love and crave routine. Think of any baby, any young child, and you will see how deeply they thrive in environments that are highly predictable and regular. As adults, we need the same thing. It can be as simple as making your bed every morning, drinking a warm cup of coffee, reading scripture or your favorite self-help book, or taking a walk outside. Whatever your activity or set of activities are, it is critical that you do them, and you do them daily. (Curious why it matters? Check out this post!) I try to choose things that I can do wherever I am. When you are feeling off, or feeling in a funk, it is crucial to reflect on your mornings. How are you waking up? What actions start out your day? 

3. Check in with Yourself. Oftentimes, we go, go, go and get into these habits of not checking in with ourselves. We have to pause and ask what we are needing and how we are feeling. From journaling, to practicing mindfulness, to checking in with a coach, friend or therapist, there are a number of helpful resources and tools out there to help you create habits and awareness around noticing your feelings. 

4. Wake Up with a Positive Mindset. To really shift ourselves out of a funk, we need to be sure we are waking up feeling grounded and calm before we do anything in our day. It all starts with how we start! So why not start in a positive, loving place? I always love a feel-good mantra to wake up to, but to really take it a step further, I recommend printing and posting my Top 10 Morning Mindset Rituals Checklist to help get you in the right headspace first thing when you wake up. Get yours for FREE here!

5. Be Extra Kind to Yourself. When we are in a funk, oftentimes our most important things get pushed to the side. Be easy on yourself when you make the realization you have been feeling off. Just as it took some time to fall off track, it takes time to get back on. So be extra kind to yourself in your mind and with your self-talk when you are noticing you are not feeling your best. You will get there. Start slow with each one of these steps and you will be on your way love!

The #1 Phrase That Will Stop Your Meltdown

It's time for some real talk.

I had a meltdown the other day.

The grown up woman, fiery tantrum kind of meltdown.

It happened while I was getting ready to go out with my husband.

The thoughts went something like this:

I have nothing to wear.
I hate my clothes.
Shoot, these shorts don't fit. 

And they kept on coming…

It took me over 30 minutes to get ready because of the pity party I was having in my head.

Once I finally settled on something to wear, I realized how silly it was to be in my head like that, but it wasn't until the next day that it really hit me.

I was listening to a podcast with Marie Forleo, where she shared a beautiful quote by Neale Donald.

“Struggle ends when gratitude begins.”

I thought back to my meltdown with my clothes and suddenly thought back to the statements I had said in my mind while getting ready.

"I have no clothes." Oh yes, love, you have lots of clothes.
"I have nothing to wear." You have an entire closet filled with beautiful clothing.

I could keep going on and on. I thought about how fortunate I am to have so many things to choose from when I get ready.

The next day while getting ready, my entire energy had shifted as I thought about the quote. When I felt myself feel disappointed about the clothing options in my closet, I instead thought about how grateful I am to have a home with a closet that is filled with clothes that I have purchased with my hard-earned dollars. I thought about how grateful I am to have a healthy body to dress my clothes in. 

These words can be applied to more meaningful events than clothing. Moments when we are in suffering, hurting, or are in a state of sadness we can come back to what we feel grateful for. We can think about what we love in our current moment.

I now think of these words and try to apply them to other areas of my life where I feel a kind of struggle playing out. I gently remind myself what I am grateful for in those challenging moments. And friends, it is really making a difference in how I am feeling. I sure hope you'll do the same.

P.S. Want a cute print of this quote in your space as a reminder!? I made you a super quick downloadable. Click here to get your copy!

How to BFF Your Inner-Critic

I had a really important conversation with a coaching client recently. She shared how growing up, she constantly heard messages from her mom and sister about how unhappy they were with their bodies. The comments went a little something like:

Why did I eat that?

Look at this chub (while pinching their stomach)

I'm going to gain weight if I keep eating like this

I better go to the gym and burn this off (as they eat a piece of pizza)

I hate the way my nose looks

And the list goes on.

My heart broke a little as she shared this with me because I know we all know someone in our lives who says these very types of comments.  If you're like me, that someone may have been, or might be yourself.

In my late teens, I was surrounded by women who nagged at their bodies, complained about their weight, and even at times, commented on my own. Later, in my early twenties, these kind of behaviors quickly became a part of how I perceived and interacted with my own body.

Self-care was not something I practiced, nor even knew about. I rode the wave of my life in unaware motions and the relationship I had with my body was a very unhealthy one. The comments above were part of a very mean, inner-dialogue that truthfully, I had no idea even existed.

It was not until I started practicing mindfulness. Learning tools to create more self-awareness allowed me to start observing what was being said in my mind- and it was not very nice.

We have enough going on around us in our lives, and when we adopt an inner dialogue that is mean and negative, we become our worst critic. I knew I would never in a million years talk to a friend the way I was talking to myself. Let's play out the comments from above for a minute as if they were said to a friend.  

Why did you eat that?

Look at your chub

You're going to gain weight if you keep eating like that

You better go to the gym and burn off that pizza

I hate the way your nose looks

Just typing these in reverse makes me mad! I cannot imagine ever saying these kinds of things to anyone. For that reason, when I hear other women I am with critiquing the way their bodies look, or ridiculing themselves for eating (for eating!!!), or judging another woman's body shape, I challenge myself to say something. I do not want to be somebody who quietly observes these situations and sits back and watches. It is not genuine or authentic bonding and camaraderie. 

If you are finding yourself in a situation where you hear comments like these from the people you are with, or are realizing that your inner dialogue is quite similar, you can do something to change it. While you cannot change another person’s beliefs, you can speak up and offer up your own views as another perspective. Give them something kinder to think about.

Ready to BFF your inner-critic? Try these two activities below now.

Journal exercise: Go back to the negative comments list and write out what you would say for each comment if a friend said them to you. 

Bonus: Actually say them out loud next time you hear them in real-time; whether to someone else, or kindly back to yourself.

How to Stop Letting Comparison Get in the Way

I met with a client recently who is planning to launch her own business at the end of spring. She has all the things laid out.

• Website

• Photos

• Marketing plan

• Opt-in for her site

• Blog

Work is in motion. Progress is being made. There is pride. And there is also fear. Lots of it in fact.

Fear shows up in the form of “not being enough.”

It looks like getting up in the morning to knock off a few things on the list of to-do’s, getting side-tracked by checking emails, then checking social media, and then checking out another website from a professional in the same industry.

The comparison kicks in:

SHE has more followers.
SHE is really successful.
SHE has awesome products.
SHE is so talented.

The thoughts keep rolling, and by my next session with my client, she has totally convinced herself to just stop. To throw in the towel. Someone is already doing what she wants to do, and doing it better. Why waste my time?, she says.

Someone out there IS doing something similar yes. The easy thing to do is to stop and give up. To let go of the ambition, the fight, the determination, the hard work. To say enough is enough.

But is that what SHE did? Did SHE get where SHE is by stopping? No. We get where we go in life by charging through, even when the going gets tough.

Whether, like my client, you are contemplating starting your own business, or you are dealing with other personal matters where you see other people totally thriving, try to remember that we ALL have had our mountains to climb, battles to fight, and roads to cross.

We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

That’s how we get the thing we want so badly for ourselves. By showing up, and doing the work, even when that part of us is convinced SHE is doing it better.

SHE is out there doing it in her own, unique way. Her voice and her stories are her own. Nobody out there can do it your way, other than you.

So get out there and be your own SHE.

Tell your stories. Own your voice. Do your important work.

SHE is waiting.